Cafe de Vie

We often assume that the person at the top of an organization is the happiest.

The CEO earns more.
The director has a bigger office.
The senior manager has more authority.
The supervisor has more experience.
And the employee working on the front line is still trying to build a career.

So naturally, we tend to associate position, salary, success, and happiness.

But is that really how happiness works?

Who is actually happier?

The CEO with the high salary and enormous responsibility?

The middle manager with a decent salary, a good career, and perhaps a better work-life balance?

Or the hard-working employee who may not earn as much but is building a career, supporting a family, learning new skills, and enjoying life outside of work?

The truth is: we don’t know.

And there is no real measurement for happiness.

Every Level of a Career Brings a Different Kind of Happiness

I can speak about this from personal experience because I have experienced many different levels of the hospitality industry.

I have been a waiter.

I have been a bartender.

I have been an assistant manager.

I have been an F&B manager.

I have been a head of department.

I have worked in business development.

I have led restaurant groups.

I have reported directly to owners.

I have reported to general managers.

I have worked within corporate structures where there were multiple levels between myself and the final decision-maker.

And looking back, I realize something very important:

I experienced happiness at every single level.

But the reason I was happy was not always the same.

When I Was a Bartender

When I started my career, my focus was simple.

Work hard. Learn. Improve myself. Make money. Build relationships.

I didn’t have a big salary.

I didn’t have a big title.

I was even supporting my parents at a time when I didn’t have much money myself.

But I was happy.

One of the biggest sources of happiness was the connection with customers.

Some of those customers eventually became friends.

I still have friendships today with people who were customers when I was a bartender at the Sheraton in Lebanon back in 2000.

Years later, I have met some of these people in different countries, and we still sit together, have a coffee or a drink, and talk about those days.

Those relationships are priceless.

And when I look back, I realize that this is a form of success that doesn’t appear on a résumé.

You won’t find it in a salary review.

You won’t find it in a KPI report.

But it is happiness.

Then Comes Middle Management

As you move into positions such as restaurant manager, assistant F&B manager, or F&B manager, things start changing.

You have more responsibility.

You lead people.

You become responsible for results.

You begin to receive recognition.

Maybe you receive an award.

Maybe someone tells you that you are doing a great job.

Maybe you get promoted.

That feeling is powerful.

You are building your career and proving to yourself that you are capable of more.

But there is another side.

The working hours can become longer.

The pressure increases.

You are still ambitious, so you want to prove yourself.

You are somewhere in the middle.

You have management responsibilities, but you are still very close to the operation.

You may have less freedom than a line employee, but you also have more authority and financial stability.

And for many people, this can be one of the happiest stages of their career.

Then You Become a Head of Department

Now the game changes again.

As a director or head of department, you have bigger responsibilities.

You have KPIs.

You have budgets.

You have meetings.

You have teams.

You have senior management expecting results.

You may have a corporate office above you.

You may have owners asking questions.

And if you work in hospitality operations, there is another problem:

You are never completely off.

Your phone can ring on a weekend.

Something can happen at the restaurant.

A manager may need you.

A customer complaint may escalate.

A staffing problem may appear.

An operational issue may require your attention.

Your salary may be significantly higher.

Your title may look impressive.

Your professional network may grow.

Your financial security may improve.

And you can absolutely feel proud and happy about what you have achieved.

But something else may start disappearing.

Freedom.

The Higher You Go, the More Valuable Your Time Becomes

When you become a senior leader, the expectations become even greater.

As a COO, CEO, or senior executive, you may have everything that people below you dream about.

A high salary.

A prestigious title.

Decision-making authority.

Recognition.

Influence.

But you also carry responsibility for your people, your owners, your shareholders, your stakeholders, your customers, and sometimes an entire organization.

Can you really disconnect?

Can you take a vacation without checking your phone?

Can you spend a weekend without worrying about what is happening at work?

Can you completely ignore an urgent call from an owner?

Sometimes yes.

But often, especially in operations, the answer is no.

And that makes me ask a simple question:

Does more success automatically mean more happiness?

I don’t think it does.

Maybe Happiness Changes as We Get Older

When we are younger, our priorities can be very different.

We want to grow.

We want recognition.

We want promotions.

We want more money.

We want bigger responsibilities.

We want to prove ourselves.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Ambition is important.

Growth is important.

Financial stability is important.

But somewhere along the way, our definition of success can change.

After years of working, leading teams, managing operations, attending meetings, answering calls, solving problems and constantly being available, you may eventually start asking yourself a different question:

What do I actually want from my life?

Maybe the answer is no longer another title.

Maybe it’s time.

Time with your family.

Time with your friends.

Time to travel.

Time to exercise.

Time to drink coffee without looking at your phone.

Time to simply do nothing.

And that can become incredibly valuable.

The Supervisor May Be Happier Than the CEO

Imagine two people.

One is a CEO earning several hundred thousand dollars a year.

The other is a supervisor earning a comfortable salary.

The CEO has enormous responsibility and is constantly connected.

The supervisor finishes work, goes home, spends the weekend with the family, goes swimming, meets friends, travels, and doesn’t receive a single work call.

Who is happier?

We have no idea.

The CEO may be extremely happy because achievement, leadership and financial success are what make that person feel fulfilled.

The supervisor may be happier because freedom, family and personal time are more important.

Neither one is right or wrong.

They simply have different definitions of happiness.

Success Is Not the Same as Happiness

This is probably the biggest lesson I have learned throughout my career.

We often look at someone and say:

“He is successful. He must be happy.”

But we don’t know what happens when that person closes the office door.

We don’t know what happens when they go home.

We don’t know whether they sleep well.

We don’t know how much pressure they carry.

We don’t know what they have sacrificed to get there.

And the same applies to the person at the bottom of the hierarchy.

We might look at a line employee and think:

“He still has a long way to go.”

But perhaps that person goes home every night happy.

Perhaps they have dinner with their family.

Perhaps they have great friends.

Perhaps they love their job.

Perhaps they are building their skills and are excited about their future.

Perhaps they are actually happier than the person sitting in the corner office.

My Definition of Success Has Changed

Earlier in my career, I probably measured success differently.

A bigger position meant something.

A bigger salary meant something.

More responsibility meant something.

And they still do.

But today, I see another side of success.

Freedom has value.

Time has value.

Relationships have value.

Peace of mind has value.

And sometimes, these things are worth more than another promotion.

There was a point in my life when I started realizing that having more time and freedom could be more valuable than having a bigger title and more money.

Perhaps that is something that happens when you move through your 40s.

You start understanding that life isn’t an endless career ladder.

There is a limited amount of time.

And eventually, the question becomes less about:

“How high can I go?”

and more about:

“How do I want to live?”

So, Who Is Happier?

The CEO?

The director?

The manager?

The supervisor?

The waiter?

The bartender?

The hard-working employee trying to build a better future for his family?

I don’t know.

And neither do you.

Because happiness cannot be measured by a job title.

It cannot be measured by salary.

It cannot be measured by the size of an office.

It cannot be measured by how many people report to you.

Maybe happiness is financial security for one person.

Maybe it is achievement for another.

Maybe it is recognition.

Maybe it is learning.

Maybe it is family.

Maybe it is friendship.

Maybe it is freedom.

Maybe it is simply having the ability to disconnect from work and enjoy life.

And perhaps the answer changes throughout our lives.

The happiest person may not be the person at the top of the organization.

It may simply be the person whose life matches what they truly value at that particular moment.

So I’ll leave you with one question:

If you had to choose today, would you rather have a bigger title and a bigger salary—or more freedom, more time, and more peace of mind?

There is no right answer.

But your answer might tell you a lot about where you are in your life.